The
characteristics of a woman's every man's dream or according to what our Prophet
Muhammad recommends are as follows
1. Candidate
wife is a solihah woman, who really carry out the teachings of his religion. As
the saying of the Messenger of Allah:
عن أبي هريرة رضي الله عنه عن النبي قال "تنكح المرأة لأربع لمالها ولحسبها وجمالها ولدينها فاظفر بذات الدين تربت يداك
From Abi
Hurairah Ra, From Prophet: The woman is married for her wealth, because of her
beauty, because of her glory, and because of her religion. And be lucky if you
get a woman who is obedient to his religion. [1]
قال رسول الله "من نكح المرأة لمالها ولجمالها حرم جمالها ومالها, ومن نكح لدينها رزقه الله مالها وجمالها
The Prophet
said: He who marries a woman because his wealth, then surely he will not have
the wealth and beauty, and whoever marries a woman because of his religion Allah
will provide wealth and beauty. [2]
2. An
intelligent woman, for if she is intelligent will be better able to control her
emotions and will be able to think broadly so that her household life will be
quiet away from the squabble and that is the cause of their happiness both.
3. Women who
are still virgins, because the words of the Prophet to a friend Jabir RA who
has married a widow
هلا أخذت بكرا تلاعبها وتلاعبك
Do not you
take a virgin whereby you can cheat him and he can fondle you. [3]
While the
lesson is that person is more memorable person with the first experience. Even
sunnah law does not marry a widow either childless or not, as long as there is
still a virgin choice, because bisaanya widow will always compare it with
previous husband, or always will remember her son so that they will be the
cause of a quarrel between the two. Unless he married a widow with a specific
purpose, such as that done by friend Jabir, where he married a widow since her
father died and left nine people so that he marry her daughter to take care of
them. Or also megawini a widow because she is not able to solve her virginity,
then it is okay to marry a widow with that goal.
4. The woman
who has reached the limit of baligh, unless there is maslahat as did Rasulullah
against his wife Sayyidatuna Aisyah.
5. Women are
fertile, as the words of the Prophet:
تزوجوا الولود الودود فإني مكاثر بكم الأمم يوم القيامة
Marry you to
a lush, affectionate woman, for I will boast of you to the other people on the
Day of Judgment. [4]
And the
scholars say that is known to women
It is
fertile or not by looking at the kerabataya, if the relatives are fertile women
means the possibility he is also a fertile woman, and vice versa.
6. Women
from good families, not from wicked families or women whose lineage is unknown.
In accordance with the words of the Prophet,
تخيروا لنطفكم وانكحوا الأكفاء وأنكحوا إليهم
Choose your
choice for your sperm water and marry an equal woman and marry your daughters
with them. [5]
7. Women who
are not from family or close relatives. It means our servant, either our
father's niece or mother. The lesson is that we assume misanan like our own
brothers, so there is less sense of impotence us to misanan and bisaanya
children born of the marriage will be thin body, and also because in the event
of a divorce between the two, it is feared there will be a rift between the two
families. Unless Have a specific purpose, for example to help him because no
one asks for him, but his age has exceeded the married girls who seem. And if
not from family or close relatives such as by mindoan cousin or nephew then
does nothing, even Sunnah, as the Prophet Imengawinkan his beloved daughter
Fatimah Azzahra de¬ngan misanan Sayyidatuna he Sayyidina Ali Karramallahu
Wajhah.
8. A
beautiful woman, we should be a beautiful woman, with the condition that the
woman is also a woman who is solehah. Because there is no advantage if we marry
a beautiful woman but not solehah, because the beauty we only need in bed alone
or as a bandage. Kesolehan The woman is the base of the happiness of a
household, and it is the purpose of the scholars memakruhkan us.And mate with
wa¬nita too beautiful because it will make the eyes of the wicked after him or
his wife might be arrogant with her beauty to her husband.
Providing
Science before Practice
Prophet
Muhammad SAW said as follows:
طلب العلم فريضة على كل مسلم (رواه الحاكم
"Seeking
that science is obligatory upon every Muslim." - HR Al-Hakim.
Thus,
according to the hadith, the scholars say that every Muslim is prohibited from
practicing any shari'ah except after equipping himself with the science of
religion. In other words, it is not allowed a Muslim carry out prayers,
fasting, pilgrimage, and others, including the trading and married, until he
knew what the law of God in it. Therefore, the scholars also say, the key to
happiness in everything is to equip themselves with the science of religion,
before plunging into an act.
The Ministry
of Religion announced that cases of confidence in Indonesia in 2011 reached the
highest number, 285,184 cases. The number of divorce cases is likely due to the
late getting away from efforts to equip themselves with the science of
religion, so it is easy mired in a problematic marriage. With the provision of
religious knowledge enough, hopefully it did not happen to Sister Rini.
Heaven and
Hell a Wife
As we hear
that heaven and hell a wife lies in the pleasure of the husband is true. This
is based on the words of Prophet SAW:
عن الحصين بن محصن الأنصاري, عن عمة له أنها أتت رسول الله صلى عليه وسلم لحاجة لها, فلما فرغت من حاجتها قال: أذات زوج أنت? قالت: نعم. قال: فكيف أنت له? قالت: ما آلوه إلا ما عجزت عنه, قال: فانظري أين أنت منه فأحسني, فإنه جنتك ونارك (روى الإمام أحمد والنسائي
From the
companions of Hushain bin Muhshan Al-Ansari, he recounted his aunts who had
come to the Prophet (s) for a need.
After he
finished his need, the Prophet said to him, "Have you been married?"
Answered by
him, "Yes."
The Prophet
(s) said to him again, "How are you with your husband?"
He replied,
"I do not refuse her request unless I can not do it."
So the
Prophet (s) said, "Behold, how do you treat it? So do good to him, for
verily he (your husband) is your heaven and hell. "- Ahmad and An-Nasa'i.
Based on the
hadith, the scholars say that the greatest right of a woman, after the right of
Allah and His Prophet, is her husband's right, then the right of both parents.
In contrast to a man, the greatest right upon him, after the right of God and
His Prophet, is the right of both his parents.
Tips for
Getting Ridha Husband
As for how
to get love as well as ridha husband in accordance with the direction of
religion is to implement the following things:
1. Be for him
like a commoner to his king and like a subordinate to his boss, because that is
the picture of the Prophet SAW against a wife who shalihah.
2. Give up all
control of your affairs to him even if related to his own property, as it is
described by Sayyidatuna Khadijah RA, the first wife of Prophet SAW, when he
first encountered the Prophet SAW after marriage, "O Muhammad, now you
have become my husband, then start Now all my property is your treasure, my
house is your home, and I am your slave girl. "
3. Be polite
and attentive to you when talking and discussing. Keep away from the debate and
stubbornness in expressing your opinion to him.
4. Be for her
like a rose. So when your husband comes into the house, make him feel the
beauty and fragrance of the rose, and the beauty and the fragrance is nothing
but for him.
5. Try how to
make your husband feel at peace and comfort beside you, both with deed and with
words. That's what you constantly need to work on for your husband.
6. When your
husband asks you to do something for him, make sure you do it swiftly and
wholeheartedly, do not let you feel reluctant and slow, let alone refute his
request.
7. Admit the
excess of a husband's position over his wife, as it is mentioned in the Qur'an
of Allah in the Qur'an, and do not ever consider this to be an oppression.
8. Soften your
voice when talking to her and make sure your voice does not rise as she is with
you.
9. Be quiet
when your husband is angry, and do not sleep unless he allows it.
10.Stand near
your husband while he is wearing his shirt and shoes.
11.Make your
husband feel that you want him to wear the clothes you choose for him. Choose
it and prepare it yourself before he asks for it. Take care of your husband's
looks and clothes, even if your husband seems lazy to take care of and wear
them. Make sure that he will like it as his friends will love it too.
12.You must be
sensitive and responsive in understanding your husband's needs. Whenever
possible, before he asks you to do what he wants, you've done it for him.
13.When there
is a dispute with him or something that causes him anger, you should not wait
for the husband to apologize to you, but you first apologize to him and ask for
his rejoicing.
14.At night, be
like a new bride for your husband. Do not you go to bed first from the husband,
unless it feels very necessary, and you should not always rely on your husband
to ask for intercourse, sometimes you can start it first, of course at the
right time, because it will increase His passion.
15.Never burden
your husband with your request. Let the husband give it to you without asking
from him. If forced to ask, do not ask for something excessive and beyond your
husband's ability.
16.Respect both
parents as your husband respects both, as well as his family. Never get in
trouble with any of them, because it will make it difficult.
17.When your
husband has just returned from a long trip or traveled from a distant place,
welcome him with a cheerful face and show that you miss his arrival very much.
18.Remember
always that the existence of the husband is one means to get closer to Allah
Almighty.
19.Make sure to
always renew and change your appearance, as a sign and expression of your love
to welcome your beloved husband.
20.Keep the
eyes of the husband from an unfavorable view of yourself, and keep your
husband's smell catching the scent that does not Tasty on you, and keep your
husband's ears from your angry voice and denial to him.
21.Do not get
used to complain or talk to him, let alone about his family and his behavior,
on the contrary be a good friend to talk to him and a good listener of
complaints of problems faced, as did by Sayyidatuna Khadijah RA to the Prophet
SAW.
22.Give a lot
of thanks and show to yourself that you are a very lucky person to have got it,
especially the gift, never downplay / underestimate it, let alone think ugly or
feel uncomfortable getting it. It would hurt her very much. It appears that you
are very happy with the gift and you have been thinking about it since long.
23.Meet your
husband with pleasure, joy, and with a radiant face when the new husband
arrives from outside the house, when going out, while going to eat, and when
going to bed, because of problems that arise at such times will be very
disturbing And disrupt his mind.
24.Never once
you compare your husband with others, but suppose your husband is the best of
the best husbands, and do all of the above with all his heart, with one hope,
that is to reach the pleasure of Allah SWT.
25.That is what
a shalihah wife should do. It must be remembered, marriage is worship. Satan's
temptations and lust whispers always try to prevent us from worshiping and even
expecting us to accompany them in hell. Wal 'iyyadzubillah. Do not let it.
26.May the
Moslems, always be given guidance by Allah to be easy to do. Amin ya rabbal
'alamin ...
-----------------------
[1]
Muttafaq'alaih
[2] H.R.
Thobroni
[3] Muttafaq
'alaih
[4] H.R. Abu
Daud-Hakim
[5] H.R. Ibn
Majah-Hakim
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